Pulling Techniques
by Sophie Thrower-of-Rocks
Summary: Sasuke has many techniques he's perfected over the years, why are they failing him now! Shonenai, sasunarusasu


Okay people, one-shot drabble IhaveanessayintomorrowanddecidedtohaveabreakbecauseIjustdontcareanymore sasunarusasu-ness!

Pulling Techniques

Sasuke had years of experience in getting people to worship the ground he walked on. He may make it look simple enough, an evil glare here, a 'hn' there, but really, it was hard work.

First you had to have the troubled past. Itachi had taken care of that, not in a way Sasuke was thankful for, but he had it, the troubled past factor. The fact that he had never gotten over it and plotted his brothers' downfall as often as Naruto dreams of ramen, which was his own special touch. Not that he could help it; he was emotionally stunted not having anyone to raise him.

Now, how did this help him have girls weak at the knees? The I-need-to-be-loved factor, with a dash of I-need-to-be-taken-care-of and a smidge, not too much mind, of I-just-need-a-hug. That last one came as a bonus for having a slight emo-esque mentality, due to Itachi angsting.

Next came his aloof nature, not needing anyone attitude and downright antisocial behaviour. This, he came up with himself. At first it was a defence mechanism, disturbing past and all, but then he saw it as an opportunity to experiment...

Anyway, no side-tracking. This ignoring people only seemed to make them want him more, to admire from afar and ever so occasionally, attempt to talk to him. This brought Sasuke to the next technique – turning them flat down. By doing this, not only did he satisfy his own sadistic urges, but also built up a reputation. Every girl believes they're special, and this rejection only served to make other girls convinced that they were the ones that could be his special person. He always got a kick out of this, as mean as it sounded. Everyone as a few dirty little secrets lying around.

Next, although not necessarily a technique, came his looks. Skin this clear and fair did not come easy, especially when one has to train so much outside, and the sky never seemed to darken. Any less of a man would have tan lines from those bandages he carefully put on each morning to add to his devastating look. He had an intensive skin care regime as well, because any blemish would show on so pale a face, and that would just not do. He couldn't be seen to be human, after all. He must be god-like! That even sounded egotistical to his ears.

His hair didn't defy gravity on its own either, and he had to maintain such a bizarre style because he was Sasuke, and he could pull off any look. His eyes held that deep loneliness that seemed to draw people in, make them want to touch his soul. He was filthy rich too.

But. There's always a but. No matter how much he perfected these techniques, they never worked how he wanted them too. He could use all of his many skills and still get laughed at, or punched, by the one whose attention he sought. He couldn't understand it! He had spent so long perfecting these techniques and had even gone so far as to pull the extreme, you want what you can't have technique by leaving. This hadn't got him the right attention however. It had caught his special persons attention, but not in the most pleasant of ways. He was very sore when he was dragged back.

Being a genius should have helped him in realising what he had not, and what he had to have spelt out to him by Kakashi. His target was male. The rest of the people fawning over him were not. So incensed was he, by the fact he had wasted so many years of his life developing techniques to get this guy, only to have been going in the wrong direction, the straight direction, this whole time, made him less than polite to the next person he saw.

His special person. Naruto.

"Hey Sasuke! Wow but you look like you're in an ever fouler mood today, how do you do it? It must take practice right? I bet you sit in front of your mirror scowling like that. And they have the cheek to say I make up useless techniques! Yours aren't even techniques! Although, that is really impressive how you get your eye to twitch like that. Yeah, like that! Freaky looking. I guess you could use it to freak the enemy out, but you know, I don't think that would work on Itachi, have you seen who he works with? Anyway, Kaka-sensei sent me to find you..."

Sasuke's eyes widened fractionally, had the idiot man told?!

"...and he said, after I bugged him a bit, he won't ever let me read his books, but I'm old enough now! He told me that you said you were going to treat me to ramen right?!"

A combination of frustration at his wasted youth, sounding like Gai-sensei, and hatred for Kakashi and all things ramen, Sasuke did something he had never done before. Not to this extreme anyway. He snapped.

"No! No ramen! No anything! Why are you even talking to me? Were not friends, you hate me! And I hate you, you idiot! You've wasted my youth damn it! My youth! And you've made me into a Gai clone! Idiot! Why aren't you a girl?! They get it! They know the techniques! You know nothing!!!!! And you've made me an idiot too! I'm an Uchiha! I don't do being an idiot! It's all your fault!!!!"

At which point, as fit as Sasuke was, he doubled over for breath, because he wasn't used to talking/shouting for such extended periods of time. He straightened, glared at Naruto and the passers-by who had stopped to watch his downfall, and stalked off at a speedy pace.

Naruto stood there, hurt, upset and bemused, because there was no ramen, and Sasuke had called him an idiot for some reason, and he actually sounded like he had a reason this time, but for the life of him he couldn't figure it out. As frustration welled in him, he remembered a near hysterical sentence 'why aren't you a girl?!' Now, he may have been slow at some things, but his perverted and twisted mind was training constantly, ready for a marathon. It was anything but slow. And it pieced together the pieces, which in normal circumstances would have been completely wrong and earned him a punch from Sakura, but in this case, a case of identical illogical thinking, he was right.

He burst into a manly chuckle and bounced down the street after his team mate, who had tensed at the sound.

"Sasuke! I didn't know you swung that way!" Was shouted, as he caught up.

He pulled Sasuke's arm, who had frozen from the shouted declaration of his sexuality, and watched gleefully as Sasuke lost balance and landed in his arms.

You should have said idiot, why do you think I annoy you all the time! And with this said, he pulled the stunned Uchiha into a firm kiss, breaking the last boundary between them.

All Sasuke could think as he sank into the embrace was 'that was his technique?! Annoyance?!' and the slight consciousness that in all probability, the village was still gawking at them. Naruto soon made him forget though.


End file.
